Rape: Rape – giving a loved one support

Rape – giving a loved one support

Whether you are a Msholozi supporter or not, the Jacob Zuma rape trial broke the silence around rape. But we should not forget our country’s shocking rape statistics:

1 in 2 women has a chance of being raped in her lifetime
A woman is raped every 26 seconds
More than 40% of perpetrators are known to the rape survivor.
1 in 4 women is in an abusive relationship.

Given the high rape statistics in this country, we give you some tips on how to support someone – it could be your friend, your sister, your mother, your daughter – who was raped.

How can I help someone who has been raped?

Believe what they tell you.- Do not blame them for what has happened. The only person to blame is the rapist.

Listen and offer support.-Be understanding if their behaviour seems different or their emotions change. -Allow them to make their own decisions so that they have a sense of having control over their lives.- Be patient, it may take a long time for the person to recover.- If you are in a relationship with someone who has been raped, do not expect them to have sex with you soon after the rape. Wait until they say they are ready to have sex again.- Support them as they decide what to do but do not put any pressure on them. – They should seek medical attention even if they do not appear to be injured.

What happens if she decides to report the rape?

Report the matter within 72 hours so that evidence such as blood and semen can still be collected.
She should try not to wash or change her clothes before reporting the rape because this may destroy important evidence that can be used against the rapist in court. Take a fresh set of clothes to the police station if possible in case the clothes she is wearing are needed for evidence.
She must be prepared to go to court if the police catch and charge the rapist.

What if she decides not to report the rape?

Her family and friends should support her on whatever she decides to do. Don’t put pressure on her. She must get medical treatment and talk to someone about what happened to her.

Ukudlwengula – ukweseka othandiweyo wakho

Weseka uMsholozi noma awumeseki, icala lika-Jacob Zuma lokudlwengula livule imilomo ngesihloko sokudlwengula. Kodwa kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi ezweni lethu, oyedwa kwabesifazane ababili kungenzeka ukuthi adlwengulwe empilweni yakhe.

Uma kukhona umuntu omaziyo owayedlwenguliwe, mkholwe, ungamsoli yena ngalokhu okwenzeka. Meseke, noma ngabe unquma ukubika ngokudlwengulwa emaphoyiseni noma cha.

Uma enquma ukukubika ukudlwengulwa, lokhu kufanele akwenze emahoreni angama-72 ubufakazi busangaqoqeka. Akufanele azame ukugeza ngaphambi kwalokho. Mhambisele izimpahla ezihlanzekile esiteshini samaphoyisa.

Kufanele abe nezindlela azenzayo zokuvimbela ukuthola i-HIV. Bheka imininingwane ebhokisini.

Verkragting – gee ondersteuning aan “˜n geliefde

Of jy “˜n Msholozi-ondersteuner is of nié, het die Jacob Zuma verkragtingsaak die stilswye om verkragting verbreek. Maar ons moet nie vergeet dat een in elke twee vroue in ons land gevaar loop om in haar leeftyd verkrag te word nie.

As jy iemand ken wat verkrag is – glo haar, en moet haar nie blameer vir wat gebeur het nie. Ondersteun haar, of sy besluit om die verkragting by die polisie aan te meld of nié.

As sy besluit om die verkragting aan te meld, moet sy dit binne 72 uur doen sodat bewyse nog ingesamel kan word. Sy moet probeer om nie te was voor sy dit aanmeld nie. Neem vir haar skoon klere na die polisiestasie.

Sy moet ook stappe doen om te voorkom dat sy met MIV geí¯nfekteer word. Kyk na die blok vir besonderhede.

Peto – o tshehetsa eo o mo ratang

Hore na o motshehetsi wa Msholozi kapa tjhe, nyewe ya peto ya Jacob Zuma e entse hore ho buuwe ka peto. Empa ha re a tshwanela ho lebala hore naheng ya habo rona, mosadi ya mong kapa ba babedi ba na le monyetla wa ho betwa bophelong ba bona.

Haebe o tseba motho ya kileng a betwa, mo kgolwe, mme o se ke wa mmeha molato ka se etsahetseng. Mo tshehetse, hore sa natswe hore na o etsa qeto ya ho tlaleha peto mapoleseng kapa tjhe.

Ha a etsa qeto ya ho tlaleha peto, o lokela ho etsa hoo dihoreng tse 72 e le hore ho tle ho nkuwe bopaki. O lokela hore a se ke a hlapa ka mora moo. Mo isetse diaparo tse hlwekileng seteisheneng sa mapolesa.

O lokela hore hape a nke mehato ya ho thibela hore a se ke a tshwaetswa ke HIV. Sheba dintlha ka lebokosong.

Where to go for help:

1. Rape Crisis: 021-479 7622. Aids Law Project: (011) 717 86003. People Opposing Women Abuse (Powa): 011-462 43454. Lifeline: 0800 012 322

Thanks to POWA for the information on this page. For more information see www.powa.co.za